Sam Harris: Breaking the thought trap of anger.
06 Friday Feb 2026
Posted in Anger
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Tag Archives: anger
Anger Group
11 Wednesday Jan 2023
Posted in Anger, Anxiety, emotions, Handout, Mental Health
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Once a week I facilitate a anger management group. I use a variety of handouts and activities to have a process oriented group interaction. One of the hand outs I use is below. I use it in 1 of 2 ways. I have folks fill it out first and then we discuss or we go through it together and discuss. We explore as a group, learning from each other.
ANGER WORDS
anger disgust grumpiness rage aggravation dislike hate resentment agitation envy hostility revulsion annoyance exasperation irritation scorn bitterness ferocity jealousy spite contempt frustration loathing torment cruelty fury mean-spiritedness vengefulness destructiveness grouchiness outrage wrath
Other:_________________________
Prompting Events for Feeling Anger
Losing power.
Losing status.
Losing respect.
Being insulted.
Not having things turn out the way you expected.
Experiencing physical pain.
Experiencing emotional pain.
Being threatened with physical or emotional pain by someone or something.
Having an important or pleasurable activity interrupted, postponed, or stopped.
Not obtaining something you want (which another person has).
Other:_______________________________
Interpretations That Prompt Feelings of Anger
Expecting pain.
Feeling that you have been treated unfairly.
Believing that things should be different.
Rigidly thinking “I’m right.”
Judging that the situation is illegitimate, wrong, or unfair.
Ruminating about the event that set off the anger in the first place, or in the past.
Other:____________________________
Experiencing the Emotion of Anger
Feeling incoherent.
Feeling out of control.
Feeling extremely emotional.
Feeling tightness or rigidity in your body.
Feeling your face flush or get hot.
Feeling nervous tension, anxiety or discomfort.
Feeling like you are going to explode.
Muscles tightening. .
Teeth clamping together, mouth tightening.
Crying; being unable to stop tears.
Wanting to hit, bang the wall, throw something, blow up.
Other:__________________________
Expressing and Acting on Anger
Frowning or not smiling; mean or unpleasant facial expression.
Gritting or showing your teeth in an unfriendly manner.
Grinning.
A red or flushed face.
Verbally attacking the cause of your anger; criticizing.
Physically attacking the cause of your anger.
Using obscenities or cursing.
U sing a loud voice, yelling, screaming, or shouting.
Complaining or bitching; talking about how lousy things are.
Clenching your hands or fists.
Making aggressive or threatening gestures.
Pounding on something, throwing things, breaking things.
Walking heavily or stomping; slamming doors, walking out.
Brooding or withdrawing from contract with others.
Other:_____________________
Aftereffects of Anger
Narrowing of attention.
Attending only to the situation making you angry.
Ruminating about the situation making you angry and not being able to think of anything else.
Remembering and ruminating about other situations that have made you angry in the past.
Imagining future situations that will make you angry.
Depersonalization, dissociative experience, numbness.
Intense shame, fear, or other negative emotions.
Other:______________________
Anger Handout
12 Wednesday Oct 2022
Posted in Coping Skills, Handout
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I often work with groups I have never met before. When I walk into group I start to evaluate and access right away. For psych-educational groups I mostly focus on do I need to pull out a handout or not. That decision depends on the openness of the folks. Do they greet me verbally, with postures and/or gestures, eye contact, expressions of thoughts/feelings, where and how they are sitting.
In most places I have worked I would facilitate an anger management group. I used a variety of handouts and activities to have a process oriented group interaction. One of the handouts I use is below. I use it in 1 of 2 ways. I have folks fill it out first and then we discuss or we discuss while filling it out. Both ways we explore as a group, learning from each other.
ANGER WORDS
anger disgust grumpiness rage aggravation dislike hate resentment agitation envy hostility revulsion annoyance exasperation irritation scorn bitterness ferocity jealousy spite contempt frustration loathing torment cruelty fury mean-spiritedness vengefulness destructiveness grouchiness outrage wrath
Other:_________________________
Prompting Events for Feeling Anger
Losing power.
Losing status.
Losing respect.
Being insulted.
Not having things turn out the way you expected.
Experiencing physical pain.
Experiencing emotional pain.
Being threatened with physical or emotional pain by someone or something.
Having an important or pleasurable activity interrupted, postponed, or stopped.
Not obtaining something you want (which another person has).
Other:_______________________________
Interpretations That Prompt Feelings of Anger
Expecting pain.
Feeling that you have been treated unfairly.
Believing that things should be different.
Rigidly thinking “I’m right.”
Judging that the situation is illegitimate, wrong, or unfair.
Ruminating about the event that set off the anger in the first place, or in the past.
Other:____________________________
Experiencing the Emotion of Anger
Feeling incoherent.
Feeling out of control.
Feeling extremely emotional.
Feeling tightness or rigidity in your body.
Feeling your face flush or get hot.
Feeling nervous tension, anxiety or discomfort.
Feeling like you are going to explode.
Muscles tightening. .
Teeth clamping together, mouth tightening.
Crying; being unable to stop tears.
Wanting to hit, bang the wall, throw something, blow up.
Other:__________________________
Expressing and Acting on Anger
Frowning or not smiling; mean or unpleasant facial expression.
Gritting or showing your teeth in an unfriendly manner.
Grinning.
A red or flushed face.
Verbally attacking the cause of your anger; criticizing.
Physically attacking the cause of your anger.
Using obscenities or cursing.
U sing a loud voice, yelling, screaming, or shouting.
Complaining or bitching; talking about how lousy things are.
Clenching your hands or fists.
Making aggressive or threatening gestures.
Pounding on something, throwing things, breaking things.
Walking heavily or stomping; slamming doors, walking out.
Brooding or withdrawing from contract with others.
Other:_____________________
After effects of Anger
Narrowing of attention.
Attending only to the situation making you angry.
Ruminating about the situation making you angry and not being able to think of anything else.
Remembering and ruminating about other situations that have made you angry in the past.
Imagining future situations that will make you angry.
Depersonalization, dissociative experience, numbness.
Intense shame, fear, or other negative emotions.
Other:______________________
Anger Diary Handout
30 Thursday Jun 2022
Posted in Coping Skills, Handout
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I spent years leading an anger management group and this handout was one I used when groups had difficulty engaging.
As in all groups at the end I asked people if this handout was useful or not and what could be done to make it better. Most said that it was somewhat useful. This handout was not my first choice in working with groups.
Thinking influences
17 Thursday Dec 2020
Posted in Anger, Handout, Uncategorized
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Thinking influences our feelings through the things that we say to ourselves. Unhelpful thoughts can add fuel to the fire and play a large role in keeping anger going after the event has passed. However, using helpful self-statements (or ‘cooling thoughts’) can be a good way to manage our anger and guide our behavior. 
Examples of these include:
- Chill out
- Calm down
- Breathe away the anger
- Don’t yell
- Don’t give them the satisfaction of seeing you angry
- It’s not worth it
- Give them a chance to have a say
To use this strategy we need to break anger into several stages:
- Getting ready for provocation: when we know we are going to face something that will make us angry.
- During the event: early signs of anger are cues to use coping strategies.
- Coping with stress: early attempts at anger management may not be successful.
- Reflecting on provocation: time to evaluate the effect of the experience on you, continue coping or give self praise.
Preparing for a provoking situations
- This is going to upset me but I know how to deal with it
- What is it that I have to do?
- Stick to the issues and don’t take it personally
- Try not to take this too seriously
- Time for a few deep breaths of relaxation
- Easy does it, remember to keep your sense of humor
During the event
- Stay calm, just continue to relax
- Think of what you want to get out of this
- There is no point in getting mad
- It’s really a shame that she has to act like this
- If I start to get mad I’ll just be banging my head against the wall
- What he says doesn’t matter. I’m on top of this situation and it’s under control
Coping with stress
- My muscles are starting to feel tight, time to relax and slow things down
- It’s just not worth it to get so angry
- Time to take a deep breath
- Try to reason it out. Treat each other with respect
- He’d probably like me to get really angry. Well I’m going to disappoint him Leaving the anger and looking back
- Try to shake it off. Don’t let it interfere with your job
- Remember relaxation, it’s a lot better than anger
- I handled that pretty well. It worked!
- It could have been a lot worse
- My pride can sure get me into trouble, but when I don’t take things too seriously, I’m better off
Anger Group
30 Thursday Apr 2020
Once a week I facilitate a anger management group. I use a variety of handouts and activities to have a process oriented group interaction. One of the hand outs I use is below. I use it in 1 of 2 ways. I have folks fill it out first and then we discuss or we go 
through it together and discuss. We explore as a group, learning from each other.
ANGER WORDS
anger disgust grumpiness rage aggravation dislike hate resentment agitation envy hostility revulsion annoyance exasperation irritation scorn bitterness ferocity jealousy spite contempt frustration loathing torment cruelty fury mean-spiritedness vengefulness destructiveness grouchiness outrage wrath
Other:_________________________
Prompting Events for Feeling Anger
Losing power.
Losing status.
Losing respect.
Being insulted.
Not having things turn out the way you expected.
Experiencing physical pain.
Experiencing emotional pain.
Being threatened with physical or emotional pain by someone or something.
Having an important or pleasurable activity interrupted, postponed, or stopped.
Not obtaining something you want (which another person has).
Other:_______________________________
Interpretations That Prompt Feelings of Anger
Expecting pain.
Feeling that you have been treated unfairly.
Believing that things should be different.
Rigidly thinking “I’m right.”
Judging that the situation is illegitimate, wrong, or unfair.
Ruminating about the event that set off the anger in the first place, or in the past.
Other:____________________________
Experiencing the Emotion of Anger
Feeling incoherent.
Feeling out of control.
Feeling extremely emotional.
Feeling tightness or rigidity in your body.
Feeling your face flush or get hot.
Feeling nervous tension, anxiety or discomfort.
Feeling like you are going to explode.
Muscles tightening. .
Teeth clamping together, mouth tightening.
Crying; being unable to stop tears.
Wanting to hit, bang the wall, throw something, blow up.
Other:__________________________
Expressing and Acting on Anger
Frowning or not smiling; mean or unpleasant facial expression.
Gritting or showing your teeth in an unfriendly manner.
Grinning.
A red or flushed face.
Verbally attacking the cause of your anger; criticizing.
Physically attacking the cause of your anger.
Using obscenities or cursing.
U sing a loud voice, yelling, screaming, or shouting.
Complaining or bitching; talking about how lousy things are.
Clenching your hands or fists.
Making aggressive or threatening gestures.
Pounding on something, throwing things, breaking things.
Walking heavily or stomping; slamming doors, walking out.
Brooding or withdrawing from contract with others.
Other:_____________________
Aftereffects of Anger
Narrowing of attention.
Attending only to the situation making you angry.
Ruminating about the situation making you angry and not being able to think of anything else.
Remembering and ruminating about other situations that have made you angry in the past.
Imagining future situations that will make you angry.
Depersonalization, dissociative experience, numbness.
Intense shame, fear, or other negative emotions.
Other:______________________
Thinking influences
28 Tuesday May 2019
Posted in Anger, Handout, Uncategorized
Thinking influences our feelings through the things that we say to ourselves. Unhelpful thoughts can add fuel to the fire and play a large role in keeping anger going after the event has passed. However, using helpful self-statements (or ‘cooling thoughts’) can be a good way to manage our anger and guide our behavior. Examples of these include:
- Chill out
- Calm down
- Breathe away the anger
- Don’t yell
- Don’t give them the satisfaction of seeing you angry
- It’s not worth it
- Give them a chance to have a say
To use this strategy we need to break anger into several stages:
- Getting ready for provocation: when we know we are going to face something that will make us angry.
- During the event: early signs of anger are cues to use coping strategies.
- Coping with stress: early attempts at anger management may not be successful.
- Reflecting on provocation: time to evaluate the effect of the experience on you, continue coping or give self praise.
Preparing for a provoking situations
- This is going to upset me but I know how to deal with it
- What is it that I have to do?
- Stick to the issues and don’t take it personally
- Try not to take this too seriously
- Time for a few deep breaths of relaxation
- Easy does it, remember to keep your sense of humor
During the event
- Stay calm, just continue to relax
- Think of what you want to get out of this
- There is no point in getting mad
- It’s really a shame that she has to act like this
- If I start to get mad I’ll just be banging my head against the wall
- What he says doesn’t matter. I’m on top of this situation and it’s under control
Coping with stress
- My muscles are starting to feel tight, time to relax and slow things down
- It’s just not worth it to get so angry
- Time to take a deep breath
- Try to reason it out. Treat each other with respect
- He’d probably like me to get really angry. Well I’m going to disappoint him Leaving the anger and looking back
- Try to shake it off. Don’t let it interfere with your job
- Remember relaxation, it’s a lot better than anger
- I handled that pretty well. It worked!
- It could have been a lot worse
- My pride can sure get me into trouble, but when I don’t take things too seriously, I’m better off
RichardbBrunner 